So I'm thinking of a clover cake. Probably just Myers and Lil and I. Maybe a balloon release.
It feels so strange to plan a birthday and she won't be here.
I never was good a planning birthday parties. So I'll stick to my rule; keep it simple.
Part of me just wants all this over. It just makes me more sad - and how is that possible?
Let's just skip this month.
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Poetry. I don't know what else to do... I miss you seven years later my love. Your birthday is always a joyful time, even if I am welli...
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Gwen was awake and looking at us for a little while. This is the first photo of her since her operation that doesn't look "scarry...
I've been thinking about her birthday coming up....some part of me wanted to do something out here, celebrate and tell her story--and yours. I'll be thinking of you for sure. Love and hugs!
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about it a lot as well. I think you've been doing quite a good job of celebrating her birth and her life every day Laura - and that's what birthdays are for. A pink clover cake sounds perfect. You're in my thoughts and prayers sweet friend. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe it's been a year. Time is so strange.
ReplyDeleteHow can it be a year already? How can it be???
ReplyDeleteI think a pink clover cake would be very fitting and beautiful. You must post pictures.
I want to skip this month too. Not only are there some sad things from last year, but I want to hasten when my baby comes. Also, there's too much going on this month, I want it to be over.
ReplyDelete@ everyone thanks. <3
ReplyDelete@ Becca - Time flies. Time is relentless in its pursuit of moving forward. Before long you won't be able to imagine your life any other way but with Connor.
I myself keep finding very down moments that sink into themselves. But the truth is, I still can't imagine my life with out her (but I don't have much choice now)...and I'm grateful for her birthday and every day after, that I had with her.
No lie. It sucks, horribly to celebrate without her...but her birthday is not a sad thing, I'm sad to celebrate without her, but not sad for her birthday...
The memories from this time last year are (as you know), so complicated - but I'll keep trying to make sure I end up in the right place - where her life only impacts me for good... which means, on the 17th, we celebrate her - with a clover cake - and that is a good thing.
Definitely, a pink clover cake. I could think of nothing better. Much love on that special day to celebrate Gwenyth. Xoxo.
ReplyDeleteLaura,
ReplyDeleteI'll be planting some lilies of the valley on Gwenyth's birthday. I still remember those sweet rosebud lips and her blissful, baby slumber that I glimpsed in the parking lot of Martins that day.
So proud of you as you continue to work through your grief and pain, and to focus on the beauty of your daughter, her God-given life, and your deep and abiding love for her. May your love for her grown to be a gentling, gladdening influence in your life, and always green.
Peace to you, and, believing in God's miraculous and life-giving power, I dare to say, Joy to you, dear friend.
Love, Leah
Thank you Leah...that is so beautifully said and it speaks to my wish and prayer for our whole family - I want her not just remembered, but always to be a green and fresh love that pulls us into Grace, Hope, Faith and causes us to act in Love - that she will in her own way, bring the same message as the St. for the person we celebrate on her birthday did to Ireland, to anyone who knew her or knew of her -I know she changed me and I'm sure it if for the better, even in this pain- <3 And to be planting lilies of the valley on her birthday...I simply love it...thank you.
ReplyDeletepraying for you all!
ReplyDeleteThinking of you lots Laura !!
ReplyDeleteLots of hugs to you!!
Love,
Heart Sister Sara