Oh, the Love of a Daddy

When I was planning this post I was in the car thinking about making this Father's Day post. I was flipping radio stations and happened to catch this song that I had never heard before. I thought, at first, that it was perfect for Lil's web page.

"Heaven is the face of a little girl
With dark [blue] eyes
That disappear when she smiles.
Heaven is the place
Where she calls my name
Says, “Daddy please come play with me for awhile.”

See?

I listened all the way through and I couldn't believe what the song actually was about. I was in awe that it just happened to come on, while flipping through the radio stations, when I was planning this post.

I don't know what to say, except, it was played for you that day, Myers. I'm glad I walk to our Gwenyth, with you. I miss her everyday for the rest of my life, with you, Myers.

"God, I know, it’s all of this and so much more,
But God, You know, that this is what I’m aching for.
God, you know, I just can’t see beyond the door.
So right now... "

"Heaven is the sound of her breathing deep,
Lying on my chest, falling fast asleep while I sing.
And Heaven is the weight of her in my arms,
Being there to keep her safe from harm while she dreams"

"But in my mind’s eye I can see a place
Where Your glory fills every empty space.
All the cancer is gone,
Every mouth is fed,
And there’s no one left in the orphans’ bed.
Every lonely heart finds their one true love,
And there’s no more goodbye,
And no more not enough,
And there’s no more enemy. "

"Heaven is a sweet, maple syrup kiss

And a thousand other little things I miss with her gone.
Heaven is the place where she takes my hand
And leads me to You "

So many people would tell us before Gwen was born that we were "chosen" to be her parents. It dawned on me in the last few weeks that I can see how that may have been true, because of who her father is. If she really only was going to be here for two months - then she she was given to a daddy who bonded and loved her from the get go. Newborns, lets face it, are all about their mommy, especially if they are nursing. If their Daddy wants to watch from a safe distance until they grow a little stronger, smile and begin to be more personable and interested in the rest of the world they wouldn't know the difference. Myers, he's not that kind of daddy. He jumps in with both feet, newborn on up.

He changed more diapers than me while she was in the hospital. I made him be the one to practice placing the "yellow pipe" to her tummy and he stepped up to the plate with no complaint. He is the reason she finally took to nursing. Myers pushed me to keep trying when I was discouraged enough to think all efforts a waste.

He is totally comfortable holding little babies and held her and talked to her as if she knew what he was saying. He even insisted that he could hold her the first part of the night until she woke to nurse (she slept on top of me every night.) Myers would whisk her away to dutifully burp her after she nursed (someone even told me that they wanted to hold her when they stopped by but Daddy took her to burp her before she could get the chance to ask...). He took her from me most mornings and let me rest while he held down the fort managing the demands and needs of Lil and Gwen with total confidence.

He talked about needing to look into buying a sling that was his size, so he could share in holding her all day, as she liked. He worked hard to sooth her in the back seat when she wasn't enjoying her car seat (he figured out she liked having her feet patted...) and worked over-time when "soothing" wasn't coming easily. Myers even went the extra mile to buy pink and purple pacifiers for Gwen so that we didn't accidentally give her Lil's paci and easily invite potentially threatening germs.

He was 100% involved and in love with Gwenyth, bonded and in love. She had many, many sweet "daddy moments." I miss those Gwen and Daddy moments.

Myers loved his Gwenyth Gumdrop, it was a sight to see, and he blesses us all with the "type" of Daddy he is; I'm grateful that Gwen had him.




p.s. I wish I didn't have the time to make this long post full of words and pictures.